New Zealander Heef on the Open Market

by Heef Mon 11 Jul 2011, 2:10 pm

In a move destined to alarm Team Managers everywhere, unknown tearaway Fast Bowler Heef today announced himself 'available' on the 'meat market' to all teams via his Twatter account. At first, it wasn't particularly clear whether he meant that he'd be available as a cheap gigolo on the nearest street corner or whether he was touting for other services; especially as his announcement was accompanied with a photo of his naked torso, but after a request from this correspondent to explain himself, it turned out that Heef was touting for prospective clubs to pick him up on the open market.

Initially, Worcestershite were supposedly interested, but when Heef described himself as a "2nd rate Adrian Shankar" they were inevitably put off.

Heef has been waiting by his e-mail account for Team Managers to contact him as he is vastly looking forward to (and I quote) "bowling a few beamers at shunts".

REUTERS (TM)

by sV Mon 11 Jul 2011, 2:17 pm

Heef has recently clocked 100 mp/h in a local match last week
A good new talent. Could be highly valuable for teams lacking a fierce pacer.

by Heef Mon 11 Jul 2011, 2:20 pm

I think you misread the radar gun. It was 100 metres per hour, I was just a little bit drunk at the time.

by sV Mon 11 Jul 2011, 2:21 pm

lol
hehehe Happy

by Viresh Mon 11 Jul 2011, 4:42 pm

Heef wrote:I think you misread the radar gun. It was 100 metres per hour, I was just a little bit drunk at the time.

by Deb Mon 11 Jul 2011, 5:06 pm

LOL!!!

Dude,i want to take u in my team-Supreme Titans.Would you like to be a part of my team?

by Naqi Gates Mon 11 Jul 2011, 5:20 pm

Heef wrote:I think you misread the radar gun. It was 100 metres per hour, I was just a little bit drunk at the time.

:lol: :lol:

by Heef Tue 12 Jul 2011, 4:23 am

cricdude wrote:LOL!!!
Dude,i want to take u in my team-Supreme Titans.Would you like to be a part of my team?

They sound supreme. I'm keen.

Reports that I ended up bowling backwards at some point during the radar check are sadly true. It's amazing what you can accomplish if you're filled up with the joys of Turpentine and coffee whitener.